i didn't realize my control freak ways are still so prevalent, but apparently they are. i'm afraid when i don't have a plan, when things are undefined and will probably remain so for a good long while. i say i trust God, because i know i should, i know how good He is and that He has good plans for me.
but practically, i still live in fear. not in trust. i'm afraid that i'm going to get hurt, and so i try to prevent that in every way possible. and this involves control. but in all reality, being in control is simply an illusion. i never actually have control of my life. it just seems that way when i have a plan, when i've analyzed everything and come to a conclusion that will keep me safe.
rather than resting in false security, on my own strength and knowledge and perspective, why don't i rest on the solid rock that is Jesus?