today everything seems sort of gray and gritty, and there is this pressure in my head that has made me feel vaguely sleepy all day. so much so, in fact, that i actually fell asleep in my car in a parking lot, just gave in for a little bit to this pressure asking me to sleep. i don't know if it is this weather or my allergies or the fact that babysitting always means i miss at least one meal. it may even be that i've been reading 1984 by george orwell (while waiting for another highly anticipated book to arrive in the mail), because often what i'm reading gets inside of me, and i feel it even after i've put a bookmark between the pages and placed it away on a shelf. so maybe old george's horrifying dystopia is just causing slightly sinister feelings in my heart.
mostly, though, i'm wanting healing with a dear old friend, because i miss her.