Tuesday, December 28, 2010

from a christmas break recluse.

i am drinking chai tea.


listening to a mix by my boo that includes several tunes from this album:
working on sociology homework for my online class.


the weather has been like this all week:
and tonight i will be going to enjoy happy hour and music with my lovely, curly-haired cousin katie:


and that is the end of my picture account of the day.  i have been pondering sacrifice in following Jesus all break.  i hope that i have what it takes to give up the things that don't matter in order to follow Him whole-heartedly.  i have also been thinking about shame and how frequently that sneaks into my relationship with God.  i have been thankful for time to be quiet and hide from the world a bit this break, and i am taking the time to tell God about all the things i am confused and anxious over.  i think He is just listening right now, letting my pour out my emotions to Him and also allowing me to realize what the true condition of my heart is lately.  a little lost.  a little self-conscious.  very unsure.

and my past experiences with God tell me that the time is coming when He will speak peace and comfort into those wounded parts of me, and invite me to let go.  i'm not there yet.  but i believe the time will come when He will be ready to speak and it will be my turn to listen.  




2 comments:

  1. damn you're brilliant. i love your words, rah, every time. and don't say it's because i'm biased. it's really true.

    God's been good to you this break, and you to Him.

    i'm excited to see you on saturday where we can finally talk about all of this in person.

    i love you.

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