Tuesday, August 23, 2011

hazy.

i think one day i will look back on this season of life and smile.

but it is terribly hard work, oddly uncomfortable, and very strange to leave school behind after eighteen years of familiarity.  yes, my life is filled with good, beautiful things--good meals, novels, conversation, sunsets, exercise, phone calls home--yet it still seems so daunting when i stretch it all out before me in my mind.  there is no shape or form to my future yet.  the unknown makes the horizon hazy.  i don't know yet who i will be and where i will invest, where i will put down the roots of my life.  i hope to spend my time making the world a kinder and more beautiful place, but even that is so vague (not to mention very difficult to actually do amidst the demands and details of everyday life).

for now, i try to remember that i didn't know who i would be at the beginning of college.  there were so many identities available for the picking, and i didn't know which path to choose.  should i pick this activity or that?  which friend group?  on-campus or off-campus involvement?  which ministry team?  which major?

but things came together, didn't they?  i spent my time at spu with good people, participating in exciting and fulfilling work, and it often felt as though i stumbled into the perfect fit.  as always, God's hand is easier to see in retrospect.  i suspect something similar is happening now.

o, for the patience and faith to endure with a joyful heart!

1 comment:

  1. Jeff Keuss once told me a story as I was graduating about german philosophers.

    Apparently in the winter they would stay in their huts and make little trails to the bathroom, to the village to buy food, etc...but in the spring they would need to go find inspiration in the clearings in the woods. But there were no trails there from the winter. So, they would start walking until they found a clearing. Suddenly they would hit one, and looking back they would see that the trail that led there was the one they had made.

    After telling me that story he said something along the lines of, "You can trust the things that God has been developing in you to lead you to good things."

    I guess I share that with you. It helped me a lot. :)

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