Saturday, November 5, 2011

a strange way.

at the church class this past week one of the girls spoke up and said she'd like to share her answer to question eleven.  the question asked what fears we had when considering relinquishing our futures to God instead of ourselves.

her answer was very simple.

"What if my future isn't what I want it to be?"

and we laughed quietly, all eight of us, because she had summarized so succinctly what we had all of us put down as our answer for that same question, but we also laughed to keep from crying, because there, in the baldness of her answer, her stark, undisguised fear of losing control, we saw ourselves more honestly than we had in a while.

and the truth is, in spite of the many love songs we sing and prayers we pray, most of us find it difficult to trust an invisible God who is not like us.

i believe the honesty of this acknowledgement--of our fear, distrust, selfishness--will be met with the compassion of God, and i hope that these repeated encounters with God will finally break down the walls of this distrust to let the light come sweeping in.

"It is pain and weakness and constant failures which keep me from pride and help me to grow.  The power of God is to be found in weakness, but it is God's power.  He has a strange way of loving; it is not man's way, but I find evidence in my own experience that it is better than man's way, and that it leads to fuller life, and to extraordinary joy."
       -Madeleine L'Engle, The Irrational Season

1 comment:

  1. too good. you speak truth, my love. and i hope you are finding further comfort in that quote.