Thursday, March 7, 2013

wide open.

We can let our experiences of pain harden our soil, put up our fences, we can cover our ears. Avoid pain at all costs, stop risking in love for friend, neighbour and self. We piously throw up our hands to fate or the will of the gods, or just slowly retreat behind shiny smiles, empty eyes and skinny jeans. I'm fine. I told you I'm fine. Let's just get back to how things used to be.

Or we get honest. We get loud. We wear black on the street corner holding signs that rage against all that is wrong in this moment, in the world. We cry and swear and let the labour pains of creation finally find a body in our own; we bear them with her, we groan and writhe. We might say things off the record, things we don't mean, things we will regret. God can handle it. Love and truth have nothing to fear.

Instead of desperately plastering our heart back together we let it go, be split wide open in grief and disappointment and loss. And our hearts eventually begin to heal that way - wide open, with room for the world. Our grief, as painful and tragic and devastating as it is, can set us free to love in powerful new ways.

I don't believe there are "good reasons" why bad things happen, but I do believe that grief and pain can change us in really beautiful ways sometimes. That's not vindication or explanation, but it's the way of a vulnerable God who suffers with us, first one at the scene, hands covered in our blood; God with the widest heart of all.
--Wise words by Becca

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